I Learned It All from TV...

I love TV!  

It's almost ridiculous... almost.  I love all types of TV: reality shows, 80s sitcoms, cartoons, network stuff, the news, music videos, anything really.  The DVR has saved my life and helped me manage my TV watching.  I'm almost embarrassed to admit I currently have 49 different shows set up to record at any given time, some just new shows, some everyday, some with the word "basement" in it, almost any combination.  

Now, in today's society a lot of people would probably look now on so much TV watching but I believe I've learned a lot in the hours spent in front of the boob tube.  I've learned what it's like to live with 7 strangers, picked to live in a house, I've learned that when you are overwhelmed you should just tell Zach instead of taking caffeine pills, I've learned I would never go on any sort of Court TV, I've learned that almost any problem can be solved in 30 minutes, 60 if it's really complicated.

So, TV has taught me a lot, but the biggest thing that TV has taught over the years is the importance of communication.  If you look back over almost any TV problem, it almost always starts with a breakdown in communication.  Either someone doesn't say how they feel, or they forget to say something, or they assumed something instead of asking the question.  It's the same storyline over and over again, a lack of communication leads to major problems.

While a lot of people may disagree with me that TV imitates live, in the pattern of broken communication, it truly does.  So many problems in the world today started with a breakdown in communication.  Now, you really wouldn't think it would be that hard to communicate.  We have more ways of getting in touch with each other today than in any other point in history, but somehow there seems to be a disconnect.  We seem to be having a hard time getting our point across or we assume that because we are thinking it, everyone must be thinking the same thing.  Somehow in the advancement of technology, in the fast speed pace of live, we have forgotten how to talk to each other (and listen I might add.)

While I have seen how a breakdown in communication has the potential to destroy first-hand, I've also seen how communication done well and often can help a relationship grow.  From what I have witnessed, it starts by slowing down.  Whatever happened to sitting on the porch with friends or neighbors and just talking about what's going on in life or in the world?  Did we get too busy.  My Grandma has taught this to me more than anyone in my life.  While there is always somewhere to be or something to do is it really more important than spending time with someone you care about, getting to know them a little bit more.

I've noticed over the last few years that good communication is the key is any relationship.  At work, with a spouse, with children, friends, parents, the bank teller, everyone.  You need to be able to tell people what you need, how you feel, what you're thinking.  What is my source for all of this?  Well, if you try and base your relationships off of the type of relationship you should have with God, communication is the key.  God says to communicate all the time, pray without ceasing.  Tell Him how you feel, what you think, what you need, thanking Him what you have and then the other side of communication... shut up and listen.  Why would our other relationships be any different?

While every relationship in my life is a little different, one things I'm working on is communication because when you communicate well and lay it all out there, life is less stressful.  There is no more guessing about where everyone stands or what they are thinking.  Good communication is the base for growing any relationship and fixing any problem, if you can figure that part out it only gets easier.  The great part is that it is something we can all work on together and always strive to improve...

Pshht... and they say you can't learn anything from TV.

Carrying on the Tradition...

  Every year the same thing happens on the third weekend of July.  Several community members try to sell their "junk" while several others search for "new treasures," kids race their big wheels down main street, others race each other for "fun" around town, crafters find incredible must have in Central Park, community members parade through town as well as a number of other traditional events.  It happens every year, Edgerton Tobacco Days!  The homecoming of homecomings.  A place where you can show up at Racetrack Park alone, knowing you will soon be surrounded by old high school friends who immediately offer you a hug and a beer.  Tradition, small-town style and I love it!  

 But this year has been a little different.  Instead of rummaging around town this morning, I was in a hospital bed.  Instead of catching up with friends at Racetrack tonight, I'll be on the couch, recovering.  I'm not usually one to really talk about issues like this, for fear that I will bring attention to myself, but today just might be different.  Not to bring attention to myself, but to bring attention to something that many couples have to live through every year, infertility and miscarriage.  

  Sam and I have just gone through our second miscarriage in the last five months after trying for two years to even get pregnant.  With the death of our second child today we are obviously grieving the physical loss but we are also grieving the loss of a dream.  While it is still up in the air as to whether Sam and I can procreate successfully, our dream had been to get married young and start a family young, have three kids (four if we have twins,) we wanted to have them be born during Sam's slow season at work so that he could take some time off and if possible have them relatively close in age so they will most definitely be life-long friends as well as siblings.  Looking back now on this dream, after all we've gone through, it looks as if I was trying to order our family out of an L.L. Bean catalog instead of giving birth to them.

  It is amazing how time and circumstance can change a dream.  While the dream we had may be some other's reality, the way we planned it isn't the way God has it laid out for us.  Coming to grips with that has probably been the hardest part.  In this age where we are able to answer any question we have within a few minutes online, having to wait and see, having faith and patience for God's timing is the hardest thing ever.  Everyday Sam and I have physically made that decision to move on and trust (well, some days I have chosen to move on and be pissed off.)  Either way, each day we take step, most days together.

  Today we took a leap however, as we said goodbye to the dream that was, in our minds, supposed to be a reality on February 10, 2010.  Now we are back to faith and patience, which I guess should never really go away.  We're focusing on new short-term goals as we again put the idea of growing our own family on hold for a few months at least.  So while the third weekend in July has always been about tradition, friend and family in Edgerton, WI, this year I hope to add faith and perseverance to this list.  Hopefully next year our new dreams will have come true and we can pass these traditions down to a new generation.

Life Got in the Way...

I never really thought I would have a blog.  I never really felt like I would have that much to say or that anyone would really care.  But something changed today.  My eyes were opened to the reality of life and once again how we really have no control over a lot of the situations that are dealt to us.  We can't really control if we get an illness, or if a close family member or friend passes away.  We can't control if our employer no longer has room for us or if a car sideswipes us.  We can't control whether or not he or she will fall in love with us or if we a meant to have children.  All we can really control is how we react to these situations.  Who we surround ourselves with for support, what our attitude will be and what our next steps will be.  I find it interesting that as we grow up we are taught to think about the future, to work towards a goal but so often things change in the process of accomplishing those goals.  Life gets in the way.  As I face the next steps of my own life I am lucky to be surrounded by a such strong support system, lead by my husband.  In the end, however, I have to decide to use each experience for what it is.  Whatever it is, a step in faith, an opening of my eyes to my true path or added wisdom from my own journey, I must decide now how this event will shape me.  While at this point in my life I can say this is the hardest thing I've had to face, I'm not naive enough to believe this is the worst it could get.  As I work through the grief and confusion however, I will hang on to the faith that I am on a journey and this step is part of the process of me becoming who I was meant to be.